Alice Out of Wonderland
by KyaNightingale
Summary: Rachel and Quinn have been dating a year, during that year Quinn has been diagnosed with cancer; and to addition to her fight with cancer, her and Rachel are battling her parents from keeping them apar...Please click to read rest of summary.
1. Fighting Fury and Welcoming the Dark

**Umm, right now I'm blocked on ideas for my next chapter on Fallen Angel, its half way done but I have hardcore writers block. So I've decided to put it hiatus until I come up with the right ideas. This is my stress reliever to my writers block, so I hope you enjoy.**

**Summary: Rachel and Quinn have been dating a year, during that year Quinn has been diagnosed with cancer; and to addition to her fight with cancer, her and Rachel are battling her parents from keeping them apart. Things get too hard and Quinn becomes distant and into a world of depression, filled with nightmares and shattered dreams.**

**I hope that's enough to entice you all, also there is established Brittana, but they're just keeping it down low to remain friends with Quinn and not catch any bigotry from Quinn's parents. Also Quinn never lived in Belleview but in Lima, her entire life and became best friends with Santana, Brittany, and Kurt, and just friend great friends with Mercedes in grade school.**

**This is mostly au, however Quinn did cheat on Finn with Puck and had Beth but instead of living with Finn, then Puck, and finally moving in with Mercedes she moved into the berry home when Rachel asked for friendship. After the birth, both Mr. and Mrs. Fabray took their daughter in.**

**I own nothing but my errors, so don't sue me.**

**Alice out of Wonderland**

**Chapter 1**

**Fighting Fury and**

**Welcoming the Dark**

"Why, why are you doing this? Can't you just accept that I love you and want to be with you?"

"This is not enough, ok? You and I had a great run, but that was then and this is now." Her tone suddenly softened when she noticed Rachel's distraught features; she gently took her girlfriend's hand into her own, her thumb tracing calming and loving circles onto the girl's wrists, before talking again. "You're sixteen; you shouldn't have to worry about a sick girl in the hospital, Rach. You have a future in front of you."

"And so do you, Quinn!" Rachel shouts out in frustration, snatching her appendage back and threading it through her chocolate locks. "Baby, just have hope. I am not going to give up and neither should you. You are doing fine and even getting better; you just need to stop fighting the hospital staff tooth and nail every step of the way, and take your meds, then you wouldn't be in so much pain." She says as she reaches out to caress the sickly blonde's face, but only to have it callously slapped away.

"Funny, it seems like you're blaming my sickness onto me. Do you think it's my fault? That I wanted this!" She all but yelled, trying her hardest to stop her anger from relinquishing itself onto the fighting brunette; and also not to rouse the attention of the nursing staff. Her parents left clear orders not to allow Rachel in, if found out they would be watching her 24/7; not a moments rest or peace of mind.

"No, Quinn!" the brunette silently yelled. "I'm just saying those are the things you need to do to get better and then we can go back to the way things were, baby. I'm not abandoning you."

Quinn saw the vivid determination on Rachel's features and knew this conversation wasn't going to go end in a clean break like she planned, so she needed to break the headstrong brunette's grit; it was the only way to save her from the real heartache she might endure in the next few months if her health further deteriorated. She would rather have Rachel to hate her and be happy with someone else, then to love her and be unhappy with their situation. It was the best for everyone.

"Rachel! Just stop, ok. You know what?" Quinn says as she uses all her strength to sit up and gaze at her soon former lover with a voided and vacant stare that was no longer warm and loving, instead cold and emotional less. "The reason why I'm suddenly breaking up with you is because I don't love you anymore and there is someone else."

"What?" Rachel's voice hoarsely crocked as brimming tears threatened to spill over; and her once bright shade of lovely auburn orbs, now lifeless and filled with heartache and disbelief. "No, you're lying. You wouldn't do that to me."

Quinn knew the brunette's purpose was now weakening and degenerating, that her heart was now shattering and ripping her soul in half; it hurt her to no end but she had to, no she needed to. Rachel was too good for her and needed someone who could help her reach her dreams, instead of someone holding her back. So, she needed to keep her cold Fabray persona until she knew Rachel would never come back for her.

"I tried to save you the heartache, but you kept pushing and brought this upon yourself. We are over, now leave before we further make a scene and my parents are notified." She says in a harsh whisper, needing Rachel to leave before her resolve crumbled and pulls her girlfriend into loving embrace while she sobbed.

"But…" the songstress's attempt plea was unsympathetically interrupted as the cold blonde continued.

"No buts, pleases, or anything of the sort; get it through your head that you and I can never be." Quinn quietly shrieked. When the golden haired teen was met with silence, she looked up and her breathe was momentarily stilled as she gaped at the girl she loved with all her heart shatter into an unknown being before her. The gutted songstress's body trembled and knees buckled beneath her as she broke out into a silent blubber; all dignity leaving her small frame while other emotions took it's place: anger, betrayal, depression, but most of a sense of unbearable grief. It took everything in Quinn's being not to get up and pull the broken girl into her arms.

'This is the only way before things get worse and complicated. She will get over me when time passes; I'm doing this for her.' She reasoned to herself.

Moments of asphyxiating silence covered them as substantial tension took over; neither of them not knowing what to say or how to truly express raging emotions flooding both of their chest cavities; the only thing that could be heard was the various machines that was connected to Quinn, she looked so frail and small (losing so much weight that she was now weighed as much as twelve year old child), yet she was still the most beautiful and strongest girl Rachel had ever laid eyes on, or even met for that matter.

Finally with a tear stained face, Rachel looked up into comatose azure eyes and spoke. "Just tell me two things, please" She was begging and Quinn could not deny her.

"What is it Berry?" The golden locks girl questions with a cruel snare as she restored back to teasing reference of her girlfriend's last name.

Rachel involuntary flinched as memories of the HBIC Quinn invaded her thoughts and it killed her that now she meant so little to the blonde that she could easily revert back to her old ways without hesitation. "First, who is it?"

"No one you or any of the other gleeks know. I met her in New York when they prepped me for my surgery. She was my roommate and we hit it off. She understands what I'm going through, and that's comfort you cannot provide for me." She lied. Rachel may had not understood, but she did feel her pain and never asked questions that were too difficult answer; instead she provided normalcy and romance: sneaking her out of bed and taking her to the park to star gaze, to the Lima Bean for coffee and sweet treats, or just to the botanical gardens to slow dance and share kisses. Just one touch from Rachel provided her with all the comfort and love in the world.

"How can I when you never want to talk about it? When I try nurturing you and being a caring girlfriend, you chastise me for treating you like you're sick. So when I act like you're not sick at all, you get angry at the world and at me. This is not fair!" The short auburn girl yells as she stands up abruptly and stares down at the girl that is nearly breaking her spirit.

"No Rachel, this isn't fair for me. I'm 16! I should be at home, hanging out with my three best friends and not have a care in the world; to be normal and happy instead of alone and sick in a cold hospital with crooning old nurses and doctors who are far too desensitized to even care about their patients anymore; that is not fair!" The head cheerleader retorts, while tears steadily streams down her cheek as her chest heaves; their argument now getting the best of her as her body screams for rest.

Rachel exasperatedly sighed as she ran a frustrated hand through her hair and paced, before delicately speaking, her voice laced with affection. "I know this is not fair for you, but you can't just give up. We can sneak out like last time and go to the cathedral."

"For what, Manhands?" Quinn tried to bit back the wounding insult, but it was too late; it had distressed her for what she had restored to, but no matter how unpleasant and painful this was for her, she easily kept it hidden underneath the guise of indifference.

Rachel ignored the stinging words and suffocating build in her chest, and kept going. "To pray."

"Why would I pray? There is no God. If he existed, then why would he forsake me, huh? Why would he allow my father to break my arm as my mother watched when I came out to them? For my sister to ignore my pleading calls when I need her most; simply because she's scared of what they may do to her if they knew she supported me for being gay and strong enough to stand up to them. So, I won't be leaving this room and won't pray anymore." Quinn snarls bitterly as she snatches off the golden crucifix from her neck and throws it at the tiny Jewess in front of her. "Keep, I don't need it anymore." She replies coldly, before lying back as her body succumbs to intense exhaustion.

"Just stop, Quinn! This is not you, this is just your anger and resentment; baby stop pushing me away because you're scared, and allow me to be here for you." She says while cupping Quinn's face "I love you so much it hurts." Rachel's thumbs soothingly caressed Quinn's cheek as she gazed into hurting emerald eyes that once shimmered and sparkled like bursting green fireworks on the fourth of July; now ever faded into the past and it tugged at the brunette's heart and soul. She leaned in, lips touched tentatively, both savoring it as if it was the last time they would ever kiss again. The kiss grew passionate as they softly pressed against each other and melding as one; it felt as though for a few moments they escaped into a world of their own before everything returned and came crashing down all around them once again.

It was moments later until Quinn realized what she was doing and that her resolve fleetingly lapsed. She used the last reserves of her strength to shove the brunette away as she hissed maliciously.

"No! Don't touch me ever again. Why can't you just accept this Rachel?"

"Because I just can't Quinn, I can't believe that all of the love and tears we shared were lies; that none of this meant anything, and that all the pain we endured was just because."

"Damn it, Rachel! Listen well, because after that this will be the end of this argument." Quinn takes a deep breath, steeling herself for another hurtful lie that will only destroy the auburn girl. "I don't love you and I never did. You were just here until I found someone I would rather spend my last few months with, I found her and she's more than what I could ever ask for; now leave and move on, because I already have. Goodbye and don't come back or I will have security throw you out." The blonde says as she turns away and gazes out of the window, silently wishing for better circumstances.

Rachel groaned in pain, all of it becoming too much for her to handle as she inaudibly rose and walked to the door. She paused as her hand grabbed the door knob and tenderly spoke with her back turned towards the eerily silent blonde. "This isn't goodbye, I don't know what it is but I refuse to say goodbye when I know you are the only one for me. This is just a see you later for now. I love Quinn and that can never change." When Quinn didn't respond, a defeated Rachel turned the knob and somberly ambled out as her heart left shattered on the floor.

Quinn turned over and intently stared at the door as she clasped on the yellow ducky and bunny that Rachel had gotten for her birthday; the two stuffed animals were now her only means of comfort. She held them tight while burying her face into the plush dolls, the scent of Rachel still lingered onto them, and it was all it took to push Quinn over the edge into a sobbing mess. And silently saying to no one, Quinn uttered "I love you too, Rae. Goodbye baby."


	2. Before the fall and Praying Stars

**Thanks to everyone who enjoyed chapter one. I've decided to go a slightly different direction with this fic, but this change won't affect it at all ( I kinda went "So Weird" on it, and if anyone knows the reference I just used and knows what episode I slightly have in mind, then you are freaking awesome). **

**Also I thank you for all the comments and alerts. I never expected anyone to be into my stress reliever.**

**I own nothing but my errors, so don't sue.**

**Alice Out of Wonderland**

**Chapter 2**

**Before the fall and**

**Praying Stars**

Rachel closed her eyes forcefully, hoping that once she reopened her chocolate orbs that all the pain would vanish into nothingness and be swept away; wishing if she just prayed enough that her broken heart would be mended and everything would go back to the way they were: That Quinn and herself would be in bed cuddling, and watching their secret obsession of 90's era cartoons, and for her and her fathers to spend countless hours watching musicals and arguing who was the best musical connoisseur of them all. Instead, she was alone in her room surrounded by obscurity; there was no doting love or out stretched arms of her fathers to comfort her or Quinn to lovingly kiss her and whispers sweet nothings, just the occasional humming static that filled her home.

It seemed as though the three most important people in her life lost happiness in her, leaving her abandoned and needing; she had never felt so small and alone, but most of all disappointed. Disappointed that her parents where god knows where, disappointed that Quinn left her shattered, and disappointed in herself for not being the woman Quinn desired or found necessary to keep around.

Rachel felt a constraining tug at her heart, as if it was being tightly bounded; suffocating her as oxygen fought its way into her body; too much to take the crestfallen raven turned on her side, pulling her knees to her chest as her chestnut mane concealed her distraught features (similar to a prisoner tucked away in the darkness of their cell). Her chest heaved in agony and uncertainty while thick, hot tears stained her cheeks and blurred her vision.

Once the tears faded and her body could no longer take the erratic shaking from her sobs did Rachel lay on her back; mindlessly gazing at the ceiling, her eyes wide open, vacant and seemingly deceased as the pain coursed more and more through her veins and spirit.

Suddenly the ringing of her phone interrupted the stillness and silence that vacated her space.

She was reluctant to rise and let alone to see or to hear another being. However, she pushed through and exhaled loudly, as she ran her frustrated, graceful fingers through her wavy locks, before she robotically answered the phone.

"Hello?" The small diva said monotoned, her voice lacking much of any emotions.

"Rachel?" The familiar voice of the second HBIC rang through the phone and penetrated the air. Her voice sounding eerily alarmed, but the shorter brunette dismissed it; figuring that the latina lost track of a certain blonde that most likely went off to the pond to feed the ducklings.

"Look Santana, I'm not in the mood to talk.." she momentarily pauses when she hears sniffling and soft whimpers coming from the taller brunette. "Wait, are you crying?" her voice takes a softer tone as her concern for her friend seizes over.

"Rachel, stop talking! Please just stop and listen to me." The latina pleads as she holds back a sob. "Claire and I have been calling your cell for over a half hour. Even Kurt, Brit, and Mercedes were trying to get in contact with you.

"Why would Claire call? What's happening? Is Quinn ok?" She asks with panic and dread in her voice, her fears only confirmed when she hears her friend break out in a heart wrenching sob.

"Rachel just get here now!" That's all it took for Rachel to drop her phone and bolt out of her room, and hopping into the drivers seat of her car.

Rachel violated over five traffic laws, and nearly had three accidents with surrounding car as sped to the hospital, but she didn't care; all that mattered at that moment was getting to Quinn, her Quinn.

The distressed teen pulled up in front of the hospital for the second time that day, jumping out of her car as the motor still ran. Rachel raced through the automatic doors and was greeted by overwhelming gloom that grasped the waiting room as she spied her four best friends; all of them clinging to one another, crying as they chocked out silent prays through the tears.

"Guys?" Rachel croaked out as all eyes snapped up to address her; each set of eyes whirling with fear and uncertainty.

"What's wrong with Quinn? Di…did she.." Rachel was unable to say it, because if she did then everything would be too real and it would literally kill her.

"No Rae." Mercedes spoke up as she approached the frightened Jewess, as Kurt sat their blankly and Santana gently rocking Brittany who cried softly. "But it's not good; Santana and I got a call from Claire after she couldn't get in contact with you. All she said was get to the hospital as soon as possible and pray. When we all got here to ask more questions Mr. and Mrs. Fabray authorized that nothing was told to us unlike the other times and that we could not see her until notified." The chocolate diva said as she placed both hands on Rachel's shoulders

"That means she could be ok, and we're all scared and crying for nothing." The smaller diva tried to reason, not caring what her sixth sense was practically screaming at her.

"Rachel, get real!" the broken latina loudly shrieked, her actions hastily regretted when she felt the love of her life flinch and tense in her arms and when she saw the desperate plea of hope that shined through Rachel's glistening eyes. "I'm sorry for that, but Rach you know Quinn's rents would not go that far for privacy if it wasn't bad. They never see her or take time out of their schedule for her unless it's to break you guys up. They don't love Quinn, but when it's the moment that counts so they can show off their grief is when she only matters to them." Santana said solemnly as she stroked Brittany's golden locks.

"No, I won't believe it; I can't believe it. Claire was mistaken, she's fine. She just has to be." Rachel says determined as the denial grows in the pit of her stomach.

"Rachel.." Kurt tries to reason, but is promptly interrupted.

"No, I'm going to prove you all wrong." The distressed songstress said as she shook her head disbelieving, before she tore away from Mercedes' comforting grasp and ran towards the familiar hospital room she thought as a second home.

"Shouldn't we go after her?" Brittany asks, speaking for the first time in over an hour.

"No baby, we have to let her face this herself. But we will be here when comes back." Santana says soothingly as she gazed at her two best friends, searching for an answer on how to help

Just as Rachel was about to round the corner that lead to Quinn's room, she virtually collided into Mrs. Fabray, bracing herself on the round corner of the wall. Once they both recovered, the older blonde took sight of her attacker.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Mrs. Fabray grimly sneered as she predatorily stalked the teen. "Didn't we make it clear that we did not want our daughter near your kind? This is your fault that god has forsaken her and lured her into a coma, because she was seduced down the wrong path by you and your faggot fathers." The angered woman coolly growled as she corned the raven haired girl into a corner, her eyes aflame with pure hatred; but Rachel for the life of her could not focus on the woman before her, the only thing that stirred her thoughts was the word coma.

"Coma?" Rachel choked out as tears threatened to spill over. "No, she was healing and her lungs were fine."

"Well it happened and this is not the first time your presence in my daughter's life has caused an innocent to be placed in jeopardy."

"What happened to Beth was not my fault." The vociferous brunette uttered unwaveringly.

"The hell it wasn't! God took that child away so she could not bare the shame her mother brought her into; an existence where her father is a good for nothing Jew, where she would have been surrounded by sin and disease, and where two fags and a lying dyke like you would raise it. She is better off dead and god believes it as well." The tyrannical blonde roared as she pressed a firm finger into the brunette's chest, her nail digging into Rachel's skin.

"Never speak of my fathers, Noah, Beth, or my religion like that ever again. Are you so ill-hearted and disillusioned by hate and ignorance that you can stand here and praise the death of an infant, your granddaughter no less? Losing Beth killed Quinn and left hallow for a while, and not to mention Noah and myself as well. That little girl was loved and wanted, even if you did not want to have anything to do with her; the one thing you could never offer." The fearless Jewess uttered as she decisively removed the callous woman's hand with resolve and strength.

"And what might that be?" She plays along mockingly as her hazel orbs glared into diva's.

"An abundance of love, something that neither you nor your husband can never provide. Your heart is plagued with darkness, someone like you could never truly love just imitate it." Rachel growled as she stepped into Mrs. Fabray's personal space.

"How dare you, you little…" Judy screamed indignant, drawing back her arm readying her assault.

The tiny singer was about to close her eyes before the impact when she caught sight of a recognizable nurse who adorned a sympathetic expression before coming to her rescue. The young redheaded nurse ran from behind the nurse's station with a clipboard pressed tightly into her chest; just as the malignant blonde was about to make a stinging contact with the young girl's face, did the beautiful nurse appear by her side and abruptly halting the attack.

She just simply smiled at the older woman, as if she didn't witness a thing. "Judy, we have Quinn's new room prepared and we are moving her in now; just follow the candy stripper, so you can be with your daughter." She pointed to the bored teen standing at the desk. Judy paused, looking between the nurse and Rachel, and then glancing at the awaiting teen behind her. She curtly nodded, stepping away from the two youthful women as she straightened her attire and wordlessly walking away.

Once the brooding woman was out of sight and earshot, the fiery redhead immediately turned to her counterpart with an unpleased expression. "Rachel, what the hell are you doing her? You were supposed to stay in the waiting room until I found a way to sneak all of you in to visit Quinn. Now that heartless harpy will have security watching Quinn's door 24/7."

"Claire I'm sorry, ok? I just needed to prove to all of you she was fine, I wasn't thinking." she croaked out as stray tears sprang to life, mournfully cascading down her cheek.

Sighing loudly and pulling the adolescent brunette into her arms, "Its fine Rach, just think next time. They are spiteful people who would even hurt their own daughter if it meant you two were apart." She said gently, all Rachel could do was nod her head as the few stray tears turned into a full on cry. "You should go home until you can handle this better." Rachel pulled away from her comforting hold and shook her head.

"No Claire! Please tell me what's going on? How did this happen?"

"Rachel I can't, if this gets out past you I'm gonna lose my job."

"You broke so many rules for Quinn and me; you are too far into this to just stop now. So please explain to me. That's all I want." She pleaded as her tears ran harsh, blurring her vision.

Exhaling loudly, she pulled the distraught teen into her arms. "Fine, but lets go outside, away from prying ears; plus I would rather tell all of you at once."

Rachel simply nodded as they made their way back to the waiting room; everyone besides Santana was sleeping, the emotions of the night draining all of them. The tired latina wakes up everyone and follows the pair outside into the crisp autumn night. They all surrounded Claire as they stood underneath the flickering lights of a lamp post just outside of the hospital's entrance.

The nurse sighed and proceeded to talk, explaining all that she knows. "Quinn suffered a string of sever asthma attacks. We do not know what caused them, but they happened. The first wave of the attack, she recovered fine by herself but it was just that last one that pushed her lungs and heart over the edge and she could not recover. She went into cardio arrest, she went two minutes without oxygen before we could stabilizer her; by that time she already slipped in the coma." The group took in the news silently, all of them unsure how to react or what to say.

"And to make matters worse, Quinn is placed on dnr." Claire uttered softly.

"Dnr?" Brittany asked as she clung to her loving girlfriend.

"Do not resuscitate. If she has another attack and she stops breathing, we can not interfere and have to let nature run its course. In addition to that the Fabrays are giving her three months to come out of the coma, after that they're pulling the plug; and if Quinn immediately show signs of brain damage, may it be three months or three hours from now, they're still going to push through their plans. They said they afford to have a vegetable for a daughter. " she says bitterly as the images of the callous parents coursed through her mind, they had no empathy or love for their own child just an image that could ruin they're reputation.

"They can't do that!" All four teens shouted as Rachel remained eerily quiet throughout the entire ordeal.

"They can and they will, they're her parents and have medical rights over her; and will do if they see fit, just as your parents have with you. Granted the fabrays are doing this out status instead of love, but they can and can't do anything about it." Claire sees how her words impacted the group, all of them with overcast eyes and pained expressions finely etched into their young features. "I'm so sorry guys, but think of as this if Quinn has suffered severe brain damage would rather keep her in a vegetated state or free to be with Beth?" She looks down at the time on her watch. "I have go back before anyone notices I'm gone, be safe going home." She hugs all of them, but holding Rachel the longest, "Be strong." She muttered before releasing her and disappearing back into the building.

All was silent, before Kurt spoke up. "Maybe we should go to my place? Have a sleepover until we get more news about Quinn." He offered softly, not wanting to Rachel to be alone or even to be alone himself.

"No I don't want to, but you guys can go ahead." The devastated teen responded dazed.

"No Rae, how about we go pray for Quinn?" the tall blonde asked as she gently took her friend's hand in hers.

"Ok, let's go." The dejected songstress responded.

The group of five quietly walked to the smaller teens cars, all hoping in. Mercedes gently took Rachel's hand in hers as the heartbroken girl began to drive. They past the cathedral, the synagogue, and even the Baptist church they would sometime visit to pray for their sick friend; all eyes were on the drive while adorning a confused look.

"Rach, where are going?" the olive toned cheerleader asked.

"Somewhere that only God can hear us." Was the only thing the crumbling brunette said as she turned onto a dirt road surrounded by trees; it was twenty minutes before anyone could make out a building just on the right of the road. A small chapel with stone wall that seemed to go on for a mile, as a crisp breeze caused long limbs of a large Weeping Willow lashed out on the construction. Rachel pulled up beside a deteriorating fence, turning off her engine before reaching over to the glove box and pulling out a flashlight, paper, and pencil; she wordlessly got out of the car and walked towards the crumbling chapel before her as the other followed. Once the others caught up to her, she was sitting on the steps writing.

It was Santana who was brave enough to speak up, "Where the hell are we Rachel?"

"My secret place, I come here to pray when it's just me alone. I found it when I first moved to Lima, I got lost and found my way here; I was scared and felt so alone, I know what to do so I just prayed and before I knew it I heard my daddy shouting my name. From that day on this became a special place for me, all my prayers seem to be answered; it became my wailing wall." She replied as the tore the small script she just wrote and folded it in half.

"Wailing wall?" Kurt inquired softly as he took a seat beside Rachel.

"My people believe that if your write out your prayers and tuck them into the cracks of a stone wall, that god can receive your messages and he will answer." They all nodded, understanding as they took turns writing a small prayer on a ripped piece of paper. Once done, they made their way to the stone structure; all tucking away their silent and pleading requests.

The rustling leaves and steady stream of a nearby creek filled the air, yet only to be disturbed by tenderly voice. "Rae, are the heavens silent on this subject? That we can never know our destiny or place in this world?" Brittany asked with child like innocence as her fingers brushed over the many tiny prayers tucked into stone.

"I don't know Brit, I don't know. I just hope the Quinn can find her way home." She utters while tearing up.

She felt a gently squeeze on her shoulder and was met with a soft smile. "You're her star; she just needs you to guide the way." Santana said determinedly as they all sat there noticing the stars and the night, the moon's gentle rays embracing all them.

"God, please allow Quinn to hear words and for Beth to be her guardian." Rachel whispered into night air. Suddenly a breeze flew by, caressing Rachel ever so as her heart swelled. She knew she just gotten her answer.


	3. Into the Rabbit Hole and Meeting Goldil

**Hi everyone, wow it's been awhile. So, I went through my files on my computer and I found this, I did not realize I had chapter three written. I guess I completely forgot about it, so enjoy and relax. Oh! Thanks for the alerts everyone, it means a lot. **

**Please comment and review, it's my encouragement and inspiration; plus I want to know how all of you feel about it and if I should continue.**

**I own nothing but my ideas for the plot and my errors.**

**Alice out of wonderland**

**Chapter 3**

**Into the Rabbit Hole and**

**Meeting Goldilocks **

"Psst…Quinn! Quinn!" Brittany hissed, trying to gain the other blonde's attention; however, failed to no anvil as an agitated Latina exasperatedly sighed and stood from her desk.

"Oh! For fucks sake, Quinn wake your ass up!" Santana shouted as she slammed a book onto the slumbering blonde's desk.

The cheerleader snapped her head up, loudly groaning as she took in her environment. Her hazel orbs spying upon a classroom filled with curiously gawking teenagers, before landing on a clearly peeved English teacher.

"Thank you for the assistance Ms. Pierce and Ms. Lopez; however, Santana please watch your language." She says pointedly towards the brunette, while Santana only shrugged her shoulders as an apology, before taking her seat and continuing her doodles of killing coach Sylvester. Lately, the tyrannical woman has been monitoring the Cheerios' weight ever since the pyramid came tumbling down during a game, due to an "excessive" two pound weight gain from one of the flyers; and taking away chocolate does not make a happy nor pleased Santana.

"While as for you Ms. Fabray, I may understand your situation and that this is your first day back in many months, but withhold from falling asleep in my class. You are too far behind to be lulling about in lalaland." The middle aged redhead reprimanded as she massaged her temples.

"Sorry Mrs. Panabaker." The exhausted teen muttered, while all eyes were still glued on to her; many students who once feared or envied her, now just looked at her as if she was their favorite toy, broken but newly repaired; too fragile to touch, so carefully placed into a glass case to be admired and loved from afar. It sucked! She hated pity and just wanted to hide.

"Thank you, now please focus." The disgruntle teacher mumbled, before carrying on her lecture.

It only took Quinn fifteen minutes of having to bear Mrs. P (very winded) monotone and emotional less discussion of Romeo and Juliet, before her mind began to drift once more. Her mind filled with only one thought, Rachel; the girl who made her feel everything: happiness, love, heartache, and regret.

But most of all guilt.

It killed her how she treated Rachel and the things that were said. She was only doing what she thought was right; but now, everything had changed. She was in remission and has of yet to face the little diva. I mean what can you possibly say? 'Oh, I'm sorry for breaking your heart. But I thought I was going to die; so hey, let's get back together!" No, she was screwed and didn't know how to face the entire situation.

As time ticked by and the in-depth abyss called Quinn's mind descended, Quinn was yanked out of her thoughts; her alabaster skin was burned by prying eyes. She peered around the class, but all eyes were either closed, reading texts, or rolling at Mrs. P. It wasn't until she looked out into the empty hallway that she saw her; a little girl who looked no older than 6 years old was standing on the far side of the hallway and was staring at her with piercing blue eyes that seemed to be penetrating her soul. Her expression wasn't that of a lost little girl, but one that seemed mysterious and full of purpose.

Their gaze held strong for what felt like hours until the resonating shriek of the bell interrupted their conquest. Masses of the student body poured into the hall, engulfing the child until she just simply disappeared.

It wasn't until the taunting voice of Santana, did the former HBIC wake from the seemingly enchanted fog.

"Yo, Q, you look like shit." The new cheerios captain teased as they gathered their things and walked into the hall.

"You know, I would be offended if didn't know this was your way of saying, 'Q, you should get some rest or go see your doctor." She said half-heartedly as she tried to ignore the thought of the girl staring at her.

"You know I will never say those things out loud, I gotta keep my evil bitch and lima heights adjacent persona; but yes I can't have my best bitch in the hospital again and leaving me all alone to rule this school with an iron fist and whips, well whips if you're kinky." She jokingly flirts as Brittany rolls her eyes at her silly girlfriend.

"You are so disgusting." The blonde beauty replies as she shakes her head at her friend's antics. "I can't believe you deal with that everyday." She says to Brit, who giggles.

Santana pouts indignantly as she crosses her arms, "Just jealous cause you're not a freak like me." She fires back.

When they reached her locker, they were met by three familiar faces, all bright and smiling as they waited to greet her. However there was only one person missing, a tiny brunette with a powerful voice.

She hadn't spoken to Rachel since the break up; it was hard for the little diva to speak to her and even harder for Quinn to face the girl she had broken.

"Where's Rachel? Usually she's with you three and I really need to talk to her" Quinn questioned as Kurt and Mercedes uncomfortably squirmed, while Puck placed a supporting arm around her shoulders.

"Last time I saw her, she was with Frankenteen before first period." Santana confesses.

"Finn?! What the fuck is she doing near him?!" The sultry blonde demands as anger and betrayal fill her being.

"Well Q, think about it. Besides you, Finn genuinely showered her in love. He might not have listened to every paragraph that she uttered, but he was caring and sincere for the most part. He's been trying to win her back ever since he caught whiff that you brutally kicked her to the curve." Mercedes says honestly as everyone silently agrees, as Quinn snatches away from Puck and backs away from the group; hurt by Mercedes honest words.

"Look, we're not judging you. All we're saying is that you could have done it a better way. You weren't there when she came to us in nothing, but tears." Puck tries as Brittany attempts to pull her close friend into an embrace.

"Save it, I had to do what I thought was best." Quinn snaps as all of her unwanted emotions began to boil.

"But look what it got you, girl." The ebony toned diva asked as she stepped towards the hurting blonde. "Nothing, but heart ache and potentially losing the love of your life to your only viable competition." She says as the warning bell for lunch echoed down the emptied corridors.

Quinn stayed silent, reflecting over her friends' words as they guided her to the cafeteria. "Maybe some food will make you feel better?" Kurt suggests as the blonde stops in her tracks.

"No, all of you head to lunch. I'm going to find Rachel and try to fix things." They all nod understandingly and hug her for support.

"Good luck, Q. You're going to need it and find us when you need to talk." Santana says as she links Brittany's pinky with hers.

The ravishing blonde takes off to the only place the tiny Jewess could be, the auditorium. Once she rounds the corner, she spots her songstress goddess nearing the large double doors of the auditorium.

"Rachel!" Quinn yells.

The stunning singer surprisingly stops, frozen in her tracks by the grace of Quinn's voice before addressing the former cheerleader, "Quinn." She says hesitantly.

"What were you doing with Finn?" Quinn asks bluntly as she stands directly in front of the diva.

"Why does it matter?" the brunette asks.

"Just because, now explain."

"What I do with Finn is none of your concern, Quinn." Rachel says defensively.

"It is!" the azure eyed beauty yelled.

"No, you lost all rights to be apart of my life when you purposely broke my heart." Rachel growls as she pokes her tiny finger into Quinn's chest, however careful of not hurting her.

"I lied ok, I lied. I didn't want you around to see how weak and frail I was becoming. That I was slowly drifting away from being the Quinn you fell in love with and into a sick, frighten and helpless nobody. If I had died, it would have left you broken and I wouldn't have been at peace if that had happened. I didn't want to hurt you." Quinn pleaded as she grasped Rachel's hands, trying her best to convey her feelings.

"So you psychologically play games with me?! Using my fears of never being good enough, so you could push me away? Is that it?! Because I can damn sure tell you, that hurts worst. How can you love me for over a year and not know me?"

"What…" her words died quickly on her tongue as Rachel cut her off.

"Quinn I know myself and what I am capable of. I prepared myself for all possible outcomes when I discovered you were sick. I was strong enough for the both of us to have hope and faith, but you crushed that and I was woman enough to stay by your side no matter what happened; because I loved you. Losing you would have hurt, but I would have been happy to have spent the most amazing days with someone who was beyond myself. That's a lot coming from me, because I'm selfish, arrogant, and full of myself. You took the worst out of me and made me better. I went from that girl and matured into a woman just for you; no for us, yet you could not see that and BROKE ME." Rachel silently shrieked, her voice wavering as tears threatened to spill over.

She takes a step back, taking a deep breath as she prepared to walk away. "I can't. It's far too little and too late, Quinn. Goodbye." She says as she turns her back to the trembling blonde.

"But Rae, please." Quinn begs as she lightly grabs Rachel's arm, stopping her in mid stride.

Without even turning around or looking her former lover in the eyes, she speaks, "No just give up, because I'm done with this; and to just let you know, I'm happy you fully recovered and went into remission. You deserve a happy life Quinn, just without me in it." She says as she pulls away, walking further out of Quinn's life until she disappears into the vacant room.

She stood there as her world whirled more and more out of control. She was better now, but everything had changed for the worse; she was pitied, unloved by the only girl that mattered most, and somehow felt so alone even with love of her friends in her life. The constriction in her chest and burning tears that poured like rain became too unbearable to just stay there. She had to get away and just be on her own. Be damned with school, her parents, and the unenviable yelling that would come from Santana. She headed for the student parking lot, hopped inside her car and veered off the premises like a bat out of hell. Anger and pain consumed her as she drove everywhere yet nowhere, as her destructive state was interrupted.

"It's odd, huh?" A small, yet strong voice came from the weeping blonde's backseat; causing Quinn's heart to nearly jump out of her chest as she harshly pressed down on the brakes, forcing the vehicle to come a violet stop that nearly threw her out of the driver's seat. Her head swiveled at an unholy speed, as her eyes went wide when she noticed it was the same kid that was staring at her earlier that day. "How did you get into my car and why were you following me today? Are you lost kid, because I'm the last person you should come for help?" she frantically questions as the child ignores her and simply climbs into the passenger's seat, before neatly buckling herself in.

She glances at Quinn with big blue eyes, before finally speaking. "Don't you find it peculiar that the trees are bowing and swaying without any wind? That you clearly see lightening, but hear no thunder?" innocent hazel eyes ask.

"Kid what are you talking about?" Quinn confusedly asks the baby brunette, who simply points out of the window. Quinn follows her direction, taking in the scenery before her; Quinn gapes dumfounded at the unusual weather, before recovering herself and speaking.

"It's a heat wave and those trees could be swaying for a number of things, like faulty root foundation." She reasons, but feels idiotic that she's having this conversation with a 5 year old stole away.

"During autumn. In the middle of October. On a cold and cloudy day?!" she questions incredulously.

"Then it's too far way to hear! Kid! Just tell me who you are so I can get you home safely to your parents or to the police." The blonde shouts, not particularly liking where this unusual conversation is heading.

"Who I am is not important. However, what is important is, why are you avoiding the obvious?" the little brunette asks, tilting her head as she awaited the blonde's replay.

"What do you mean?"

"For instance, how is it that just yesterday you were in a hospital room in unconceivable pain to suddenly being in school with a fairly overall healthy tone the next day?" the tiny girl asks.

"How did you know that? Are you someone's kid sister? Is this a prank?! So help me I will destroy them!" she growls as the mysterious child smiled; highly amused by the blonde's HBIC attitude.

"No! Now focus, Quinn. Please explain it to me." The child pressed.

The blonde sighs and rolls her eyes, knowing the only way to get the child to answer her questions were to answer hers in return. "Fine, I got better…" the words died on the ex-cheerleaders lips as she racked her brain for the moment the doctor told her she went into remission; but only came up blank, as well as the moment she went home. All that was remembered was the moment her and Rachel talked, then this morning when she got up for school perfectly healthy. Three months of her life, completely wiped out. "What the hell is going on?" the blonde asks aloud to herself, seemingly getting frustrated with her lack of memories.

"You can't remember, can you?" The brunette inquires knowingly.

"No, but that's because chemo screwed up my memory. It means nothing, this means nothing." She gestures around herself as an uneasy feeling settles in the pit of her stomach.

"Like hell it doesn't!" the small child screams. "The people you call mommy and daddy

are planning on dousing out the little flicker of life you still possess for their heartless and selfish needs. So it's up to you to shut the hell up and listen to me or you're not going to make it home in time." The child finishes with an icy glare that even taken Quinn aback until she realized what the girl said.

"Wh..what?!" she stammers.

"You're in a coma!" the small child roars, not believing the thick headedness of the blonde before her.

"What coma? I was never in a coma." Quinn argues as the tiny girl groans.

"You are! This is not reality; you are a girl who tumbled into a rabbit hole and just playing Alice, while I am the caterpillar; your guide back home, but only if you trust me. Because this is just a dream, innocent and fun for now, but the longer you stay the more morbid and twisted they become until your dreamland becomes a nightmare. You won't escape." The child urged.

"I don't believe you!" the booming sound of Quinn's voice filled the car as she turned towards the child. "I am home and I'm not sick anymore! I don't know what you're playing at kid or who told you to do this, but you need to stop and go home." She says pointedly.

The little brunette pouts, "It seems like we're not going to get anywhere today." The nameless child disappointedly utters as she gazes out of the window. "Quinn, you need to wake up. People outside this world are waiting for you who truly love you, or you will be lost to them if you stay and live out this fantasy. If you need me, I'm sure you can find me. And Quinn, call me Cat." She says as she unbuckles herself and leaves the vehicle, skipping carelessly in the rain towards a dark car with heavily tinted windows. The only thing she could make out was two figures as Cat climbed into the backseat, before driving off into the distance.

Leaving Quinn with unanswered questions and a strange sense of denial, "It can't be, she's lying. Just a horrible prank." She mumbles to herself as she speeds off to home.

"Quinn, much like you I feel like I'm trapped in my own mind. Unable to escape my own thoughts and feelings that continually holds me back and stops me from being strong; fear of losing you and conflict with your parents on a daily basis is tearing me down. For death has never been a problem or a fear of mine, but a stale life without true love has been creeping up on top of everything else recently; and that scares the hell out of me! I don't think how much I can take baby. I need you back and to be held in your arms." Rachel breaks down in the tiny ICU room; crowded by monitors and machines that are keeping the lovely blonde alive in her world.

"Do you hear me?! Please Quinn, baby just wake up! I need you, we need you. I can't lose you." Rachel shouts as the only response the sobbing brunette gets is the beeping tune of the blonde's heart monitor.


End file.
